Change is something that confronts us every day.
The only thing that’s constant is change. Nothing ever stays the same, not even things that seem to be ‘solid’. Change can be necessary, it can be hard, it can be unwanted. It’s a journey and an adventure, maybe even an abyss. But down there you might just find what you needed all along. Sometimes change can also be a relief – it can make life easier.
Change forces us to evolve, and nothing ever remains the same.
But how to deal with it when everything seems to fall apart or when we don’t want to let go of old habits or patterns?
That’s the million dollar question.
There’s no recipe that promises miracles here, but I have found out a way for myself how I deal with change, even when things are happening that I dislike.
First I always try try see change as it is: as development. Something needs to change for me to evolve. I always try to embrace it, even though it may be hard sometimes.
Most people know the feeling that when they look back on their life and the events that really changed their life (like a breakup, a challenge, a difficult task) they find out that those were the things that taught them the most and made them grow. Sometimes they even appreciate the change after the pain is gone. For me this is no different.
When things are falling apart and events happen that we don’t want to be happening, we mostly try to struggle against them. We fight, we’re in pain and in the end, all we do is to suffer even more. But if we can find a way to follow the flow of change, it won’t be that hard anymore to accept it.
How to embrace change:
- Keep in mind: Nothing ever stays the same, not even situations that seem to be unbearable. After a high comes a low, after a low comes a high. That’s part of the adventure called ‚life‘.
- See it as a test by the universe. Are you going to take it? Or are you willing to fail before you even faced the challenge the universe is offering you?
- Make a pro-list. Sit in silence and think about the positive things that the situation brings you. Try to see the happenings from a new perspective.
- Don’t try to force anything that just isn’t. Vizualize the best possible outcome you want the change to create for you and take small steps towards it. Do what is necessary to work towards that goal but stay flexible. Try to adapt to the new situation as best and fast as possible.
- Be nice to yourself. During tough times it can be a good idea to spoil yourself a little more than usual. Eat that ice cream if it will help to make you feel better. Take that time out and read that book you’ve been wanting to read for so long. Do whatever lifts your mood, don’t let circumstances drag you down.
- Don’t let your ego get in the way. Be willing to accept your own failures and mistakes and to go back one step in order to move forward again. See a stuck situation as a dead end road, and you simply took the wrong path that didn’t work out. So now what? Go back to the turning point and try the other way instead. Be flexible.
- Listen to your heart. Maybe that’s the most important thing. Sometimes your heart is whispering and you have to listen closely to it. Sometimes it’s screaming out loud what it wants. But your heart always will always tell you what you need to know, even if your logical mind can’t grasp it. This knowledge goes deeper and beyond anything you can understand with your intellect.
- You can only grow if you choose to grow. Don’t get stuck and don’t repeat your failures over and over again. You didn’t learn the first or the second time? Let change happen and don’t fall back into old patterns, try new paths instead.
- Don’t expect too much. Sometimes it all will make sense much later in your life, so don’t try to rush things. Let them be. Everything will be okay and you will understand the ‘why’ later.
Change is not an evil thing. It’s here to help us to move forward and to grow. So next time it comes knocking at your door: invite it in with curiosity and see where it will take you. It will bring you new opportunities. Learn from the experience, you’re growing stronger and wiser every single day.